Wedding Season, But Make It Black Tie

You’ve been invited to a close friend’s wedding, and they tell you it’s going to be black tie optional. Don’t be a jackass. That means black tie. You also know there will be a reception the evening before that requires “cocktail attire.” Once you’ve booked the hotel, delivered the proper congratulations, and mourned the money spent on airfare, you must face the music and figure out what the hell you’re wearing.

Should we start with cocktails or the wedding night? Well, that all depends on what sort of tuxedo situation you decide on and how long you have before the wedding.

Are we going made to measure? Are we getting a sleek little number off the rack? Maybe renting? Let’s say, for the sake of saving time, we have a few months, some cash burning a hole in our pocket, and a penchant for the finer things in life. We’re going made to measure.

I think if you’re having a tuxedo made, you need to go traditional black. From there, it’s dealer’s choice. Are you a shawl collar guy? Peak? Notch? Single breasted? What about double breasted? What style are we going for? Do we want that Husbands 70s sort of feel, or are we strict traditionalists?

Don’t forget the bow tie and the tuxedo shirt. Unless you’re going custom shirting, just do yourself a favor and grab an Eton tuxedo shirt. And keep a close eye on the studs. Those little assholes love to run away. Black cufflinks, of course. If you’re feeling old school, get a cummerbund and some suspenders.

You get the idea.

So, cocktail attire. What is that exactly? Think James Bond at a slightly more casual event. No need for a tie, but a proper suit is expected. Do you have one? A proper suit, I mean. Don’t show up in something so ill fitting it looks like it was used for Halloween.

If it were me, I’d go pinstripe, tan, grey, or classic black. Fine, throw navy in there as well. Just make sure it fits properly and looks intentional.

Now, shoes.

I’ll be honest, I almost always wear a polished cowboy boot. I change the color based on the suit and the level of dressiness, but the boot remains. I would guess that’s not most of you, so you have a few classic options.

Patent leather Oxfords or whole cut Oxfords for the traditionally inclined. Patent leather loafers or velvet slippers for the cooler among us. And Opera Pumps for the most interesting men in the room.

And with that, we have two wedding-ready looks.

Now remember, it’s not your day. Have a few drinks, make some people laugh, dance with someone’s aunt, and enjoy yourself. Just don’t be the thing our happy couple talks about on every anniversary.